Episode 11: Don't just blend in...stand out!

Well, hello storytellers. Welcome back to the Storytellers Mind Movie Makers. We are so happy to be here and we're going to be looking at the science to the art form of storytelling.

This week, though, I want to share an observation that I have been making. I have had the honor to work on three or four different events this year, and one of them is a speech event.

And I've had the opportunity to interview and find stories for acceptance speeches, which is some of my favorite work. And during this journey, I saw a couple of people who are so nervous about giving the speech that when they were reading their speeches, they were as safe as possible.

And when I'm saying safe, I mean kind of shy, a bit bland, and definitely, definitely sounded like they were reading a script.

Now, do you think the audience is going to truly enjoy someone who's just reading a script? And why are we just reading our scripts? Why are we not getting underneath the lines and delivering it with our hearts?

And our knowledge of whatever the story they might be telling is because you're telling it, it's got value. So stand up and proudly share that story.

I do believe that when we see people who are just reading the lines because that's what they need to do and then it's your line. Okay, and then now it's my line and I will read my line. Okay, it's back to you. Okay, now I'm going to read a line and I'm going to get excited.

It was kind of like that.

That's playing it safe.

And our society actually conditions us to blend in. It doesn't say, stand out, be the person that everyone's going to remember. In fact, if anything, it's the opposite. You don't want to stand out. You want to stay small.

Do we?

Do we?

Do we not walk this planet with every right to thrive and to share what we've experienced to help other people go through it even smoother?

Because your story can let them know, hey, you're not the first one to go through this. So here's a story that can help you.

Let me tell you my story about how I saved my own life.

It's just not going to work.

So I just wanted to stop in today and talk about the importance of really getting underneath and being proud of the stories that you tell.

Of the speeches that you give.

Of the keynotes that you deliver.

When someone's getting really nervous, I always want to say this.

Remember when Bugs Bunny cartoons had the little devil on the shoulder and then the angel on the shoulder?

It was so brilliant because really those are the two voices that we are literally negotiating with all day and a lot of people have talked about this.

But there was one book that I read when I was 25 years old and it was called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Dr. Susan Jeffers. May she rest in peace.

But that was her legacy book that she wrote.

And it taught how to identify that chatter box that's going on in our heads.

It's the voice that says, oh, you don't want to stand out. Oh, if you do, people will think that you're just trying to show off. Oh, you don't want to be a bragger, do you? Oh, and by the way, you have something in your teeth.

It's not a pleasant voice and yet it's talking incessantly to us all day.

Meanwhile, the angel character or what I would call the coach is also in there and it's a quieter voice.

It's the one that says, you got this. You're on the stage because you earned it. You're sitting at this table because you have a place at it. Go ahead, tell them what you know and tell them in a way that is memorable because you are magnificent.

And that's not inflating your ego.

That is giving yourself permission to be at that table, to be strong and not succumb to that obnoxious chatterbox voice.

How do you overcome when chatterboxes are out of control?

There's a few tips.

One, if you're going up and you're about to do a keynote and you are a little nervous or you're anxious, first identify what you're feeling.

Are you feeling nerves because this is important to you and you just want to give your best?

Or are you feeling nauseous because the idea of doing this is becoming overwhelming?

Either situation, I would recommend still deep breathing.

The four counts in, hold for four counts, let it out for four counts, then do nothing for four counts, and then do that three times.

So four times total, you're doing deep breathing, square breathing exercise.

And what's happening is you're actually getting oxygen, which is calming to your brain.

So it seems really simple.

But the most important thing is catching and identifying what it is you're feeling.

Who are you listening to?

Is it chatterbox or is it the coach?

If it's chatterbox, you can just literally say, not today, I've got this.

And then what I always say is get off of yourself and get onto your words because people are there to listen to you.

They don't care if your shoes are funny.

You want to look professional, but you might be obsessing about a scuff mark on your shoe and letting the chatterbox zero in on that.

It's not important.

So that's one reason that the nerves start to really flare up.

But the good news is you can fix it in an instant.

And then another tip that I have is simple.

Rehearse.

Practice.

Know your talk.

Know it backwards and forwards because the more you know it, the less you're going to want to be on that script and the more confident you will feel because it's not new.

And give yourself grace too.

Because when you first start working with your keynote or your speech, the beginning is going to be rough.

It's going to be scrappy.

The first draft usually is just data.

I had that today with a client.

She told me her story and it was just data points.

It wasn't a story yet.

Then we converted it into a very rich story with characters, conflict, emotion, and transformation.

Now she's excited to tell it.

So the nervous jitters are normal.

But I want you to think about this.

Am I nervous because I'm choosing to stay small?

Because I don’t want you to be too big either.

I want you to step onto that stage and own it.

You’ve worked hard to get there.

And there you are.

Flip side, if you go too big and become arrogant, someone will let you know.

But remember, you matter.

Your stories matter.

And people want to learn and grow.

And if you can help them do that through your stories, that’s a beautiful life.

Okay, that’s all I wanted to talk about today.

I hope it makes sense.

Please comment, like, follow, share.

This is our podcast.

This is a teaching podcast.

And everyone has stories.

So I’m excited that you are here.

And tell your stories and tell them well.