Episode 27: The Inner Narrative Battle

Melissa Reaves
Well, hello storytellers. So a couple of episodes ago, I talked about the narrative inside our own minds. The negative voice that's pretty loud and the positive voice that if we listen carefully is always guiding us.

And that actually sparked a story. So I'm going to tell this story and it's definitely relevant to that episode. But while you're listening to it, this is teaching. So I want you to pay attention. Pay attention to C.R.O.W which is the platform that I teach the Mindmovie on. It's an improv tenant and C.R.O.W is an acronym that stands for characters. So when I introduce characters, do you see them? Am I clear on what they look like and my relationship, which is

the R. Characters, relationship, how am I relating to the other people in the story. The O is objective, like why am I telling this story, which is also the stakes. Like what is it that's really going on that is transformational to me as the storyteller. And then finally is W, which is where. And that can be where am I with my state of mind, where am I physically, can you see it, and even it could be like what state

of life. in this story, I don't really need to say that stage in life because it's only happened a few months ago. But sometimes if it's a story that's from way in the past, then you might want to say how old you were and what era it was because it can spark the mind movie even faster to your listeners. Okay, so here's this story. Think of this definitely as a part of the teaching of the mind movie method in live format. Okay, here it is.

It's a f-

Melissa Reaves, Host (01:46.638)
crisp fall November evening and I am in bliss I am at Tutabella Pizzeria with 12 of my really great friends and they are gathering with me to come see my daughter Maisie perform in Cornish University's musical theater programs Sweeney Todd. Now I've already seen this show three times and I love every scene and my girl is playing

Mrs. Lovett. She is the diabolical mastermind that tells Sweeney we should chop people up and turn them into pies and then we can make more money. Classic Sondheim. They're doing it in a very contemporary way. It looks like it's kind of goth looking. I love artistically everything that they're doing and the acting and the singing is fantastic from the whole cast. But my Maisie as Mrs. Lovett, let's just say she's

slays. I turn to my friend Kelly and I say listen there's only like 75 seats in this small theater. We should go if you don't mind come with me and let's go stand in line and hold our hold our place because it's it's just about time for them to open the doors and then we'll grab our seats and everything will be set. She goes game on let's go.

We arrive and we're literally like the third person in line and right behind us is this older woman, probably my age, and she's wearing a parka and she's just holding her phone and she doesn't really want to talk to anybody. And I, because I'm giddy, I said hi. She's like.

Okay, she not a talker. All right. But I thought, you know what, I should kind of tell her that I've got a few more friends coming so she doesn't get surprised. So I try to bond with her a little bit. I'm like, hey, you must have a kid in the show. Mm-hmm. Okay, so do I. Mrs. Lovett. I mean, I'm being really ridiculous. And I say, hey, you we're gonna have a few more friends showing up and I didn't want to surprise you. Oh. Okay.

Melissa Reaves, Host (04:00.223)
Okay, great. I come back to Kelly and I'm like, okay, well she knows.

And we're talking now about the theater and the lobby and the inside now. We've been let in, but we still can't get our seats, but it's warmer. And I say, you know what? This used to be a very cool gay cowboy bar, but now it's a theater. So it has all this characters, dark wood. It almost looks like you're inside a ship, to be quite honest, the way that the wood has been cut. It's a very old building. When Kelly says, Melissa?

That woman behind me? She's on the phone saying not very nice things about you. What? Why?

All a sudden my phone rings and it's my daughter Maisie. Boy, is she calling me. She should be getting ready. She's gonna go, she should be warming up. Hey, what's going on? Mom, are you trying to take all the seats? What? No, no, no. Remember Patty, the one that plays the old lady, the beggar woman? I said, yeah, my God, she's amazing. Yeah, well, her mom is calling saying that there's this woman out in front and she's gonna take all the seats in the house. Please don't do that. Don't cause a problem. I'm like, Maisie, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, down, honey. I got this, this is fine. There's only 12 of us, so if there's 75 seats, the math ain't mathing And even if we stretched ourselves out like, you know, giraffes. And she's like, okay, that's true. And I'm like, yeah, so don't worry about it, babe. I hang up. And I turn to the woman, and I'm like, is there a problem? Now

Melissa Reaves, Host (05:40.335)
I had a spiritual teacher that once taught that when you have a thought and then you have another thought, there are a million things that can happen in between those two thoughts as far as choices. And I am now battling with the two voices in my head. The first one is very loud and says, oh yeah, is there a problem girl? Do you want to get in fight with me? Do you want to ruin everyone's night because you're going to pick a fight with a stranger because you don't want to mess with me? I go to the gym. I'm very strong.

And you know what? I can make you into your own meat pie. Wow. She had a lot to say. And meanwhile, the quieter voice says, Melissa, if you were at the grocery store and you had a totally full cart of items and that woman is behind you and she only has eggs, what would you do? I would have her go in front of me, of course. No brainer.

Hey

Why don't you go in front of us? Go ahead and get your seat. I've seen the show. I know what's going on. We're gonna go towards the back. What? No, that's okay. I'm like, no, seriously. I want you to go in front of us. No, that's okay. I'm like, okay. And I tried. The door's open.

Kelly and I start streamlining in. We go towards the two back rows, which are going to be great view, and we're not going to disturb anyone else. And that woman sits down in the front row. And I think that's great, because Patty's character works front row. Excellent. She's going to have a great seat. And as we're getting our seats, we're trying to get our jackets all over, the woman turns around.

Melissa Reaves, Host (07:28.64)
and hands me her parka and says, would you like to use my coat to save seats for your friends?

Okay, yeah, thank you. And in that moment, it was so clear that that woman did not expect kindness. She was ready to poke the clavicle, but I wasn't receiving that. And that voice inside me said, you don't know her story.

You can see in her face that she might have a few war stories like what she's trying to pick right now. When they go low, you go high.

Melissa Reaves, Host (08:22.702)
For the last year, I have been living on my own again, and it's been great. I live with my cats, my two cats. I get up in the morning, I enjoy my coffee out on my patio as I journal and meditate and just listen quietly to the quiet.

what I'm starting to see as a key benefit of that very serene work is that that loud voice is getting quieter and that quiet voice is getting louder. And to operate from that relationship with myself, turning off the TV, being careful what I'm watching, being careful what I'm listening to.

And if it disturbs me in a negative way, I move away from it. People who no longer serve my highest good, or I don't serve theirs, because we're just in two different directions, they gently and lovingly fade away.

It's blissful to have finally at least more control and relationship with the two voices that we all battle. We all battle it every day. Anytime you're feeling fear, anytime you're doubting yourself, anytime you're saying something self-deprecating, which voice do you think you're listening to when the other voice is whispering all the good stuff too?

So I challenge everyone to really try and work on that. Because life only gets better. And it might serve you a meat pie sometimes. But it also serves you warmth and sustenance. OK. Thanks.

Melissa Reaves, Host (10:31.584)
Okay, now is that a story I would use in business? No, not necessarily, but it might be because it does talk about

the two voices that you could see a sales rep, a manager, a new manager, a rising star who's starting to doubt themselves. They could use that story, but it's definitely more of a public consumption sort of story. But did you see the crow? Did you see my friends? Did you taste pizza? What were we drinking? What did the restaurant sound like?

Just by me saying Tutabella Pizzeria creates, if you've been to it, you know what it is. If you don't, you can create your own pizzeria. What kind of pizza were you eating? Kelly, could you see her? What was my relationship to Kelly? The woman, what was my relationship to her? The voices.

Did you see characters? Some people see the little devil, some people see the angel, you know. Or you might just see me by the way I delivered it.

And the objective, why am I telling this story? Is it a universal fact? And it's a good example, I think so. I think it's a good example of a very simple moment having incredible life richness to it. And then the where, know, Tutta Bella but I described the theater. You could see the size of it.

Melissa Reaves, Host (12:08.274)
And my state of mind, my state of mind, my other part of my where was I was giddy. And then I got concerned. And then I transformed. I wasn't the same woman who, neither was she actually. None of us were, neither was Kelly. We were not the same people who walked into the theater lobby and walked out after the show. And when I got to tell Maisie that I handled it and I told her that the woman offered her coat, Maisie almost cried.

She ended up saying to me, her mom kind of does that a lot and so thank you so much. And again, I'm not telling this story to bribe like, I'm so kind. I am kind. Of course I'm kind. But when you become consciously aware of when kindness is needed like that, well, strut your stuff, right?

not patronizingly, genuinely from the heart. All right, that's it for this week. I hope you've enjoyed the story and that it was a good example of more on that inner narrative. Okay, thanks again and we will see you again soon. Remember to like, subscribe, comment. I wanna hear from you. Okay, all right, and tell me some of your stories. All right, take care.